October 9, 2017 Kirk

I write this as I sit atop a picnic table near the railroad tracks. The picnic table is barely standing, nails sticking out above its faded grey planks like trees after a big storm.


My head has a nice buzz going from the legal CO weed I smoked..next to the tracks..along the gravel road.. by the broken picnic table in the sun. Being in nature with the occasional train is a wonderful experience stoned. My body is tingling and my senses are heightened. The leaves and grass chime more audibly and birds are more present. The wind on my bare arms is rustling each of my arm hairs and I can feel it. Each of my arm hairs is blowing in the breeze like the tall grasses down by the tracks.
And then when a train goes by the rumbling and clanging is positively penetrating. I close my eyes and just feel the energy. Your eyes can deceive you, don’t trust them.
Close your eyes and empty your mind and just listen. Listen to your breath, to the ambient sounds around you.
Feel it.
Feel the energy.
October 8, 2017 Kirk
Beer sure is popular.
And marijuana is getting more popular and more socially acceptable, too.
That’s a lot of people looking to relax or alter their conscious mind.
Like me.
Right now.
Why do I smoke weed? First, I do it because I don’t really have many responsibilities. I do it because I spend a lot of time alone and it helps pass the time. I do it to relax. I do it to become more witty. I do it to feel more comfortable in social situations. I do it to feel the energy of the world tingle my skin. I do it to put a smile on my face and say hi to more people. I do it to make food taste more vibrant. I do it to make loud places feel energetic instead of annoying. I do it to help me feel at one with the universe. I do it because it helps me better understand myself. It opens up parts of me that my ego tries to keep closed. It helps me to love myself (not to mention everything & everyone else around me). And that helps me to go through my day exuding more love and compassion.
(pic is from my hike on Pacific Crest Trail in California, summer 2014)
October 5, 2017 Kirk
I’ve been experiencing synchronicities lately (and I don’t mean listening to the Police album on repeat).
Synchronicity is a concept written about by philosopher Carl Jung. It describes a phenomena when connected universal energies, unseen by our five limited senses, converge in our physical reality.
It’s like when you’re thinking about a certain friend that you haven’t talked to in a long time, and they call or text you at that moment.
It’s not a coincidence. It’s connected. Last week I’m sitting at a bar staring at the word Strong on a bicycle-frame art piece on the bar. And just then, the television above the bar displays the back of the jersey of a baseball player showing his last name: Strong.
These are synchronicities. Smarter, wiser people than me (like legendary philosopher Carl Jung) say they’re connected.
For the past two weeks I’ve been experiencing these sort of coincidences almost daily. Small stuff, but synchronistic coincidences that happened to me only very rarely before I found myself on this spiritual path.
If you’re a skeptic, like me, you’re probably saying: Sure, but maybe it’s just like when you buy a Subaru and then suddenly you’re noticing Subarus all over the place that you never saw before.
I get it.
That’s why I’ve waited two weeks to share anything about it.
This morning I was staring at my iPhone while laying in bed a little before 7am. I was warm under my comforter and could feel the cold winter air on my exposed face, awake but not ready to get out of bed.
So I’m staring at my iPhone right after waking up, just like you’re supposed to not do. But I’m definitely awake and not dreaming or anything.
Three of my apps flashed at me in succession: Way of Life. Safari. Tweetbot.
When i say “flashed”, I mean I was staring at my phone screen, and the Way of Life app (which is a little helper to build better daily habits…but it’s actually fucking called “Way of Life“) kind of faded out and back in.
It flashed at me (or flashed me, if you wanna get more raunchy).
Right after that, the Safari app flashed at me. Same thing. The colors on the app icon faded halfway out and then back to normal. And then right after that my Tweetbot branded Twitter app did the same thing.
Oh, and one more thing:
                 today is the 16th anniversary of my Mother’s death.
There was no wi-fi connection and my T-Mobile plan has horrible cell service in Montana. There were no app update going on or anything like that.
Way of Life (habit development app)
Safari (web browser)
Tweetbot (it’s a Twitter app)
Does that ever happen to you?
Given my recent stretch of synchronicities, is this some sort of message? Should I buy some high-end binoculars and roam around the world birding for the rest of my life? I did watch that film The Big Year again recently.
And I don’t know that this event was actually a synchronicity. But it felt like the right time to talk about these energies in this new journal.
Ultimately, everything is just waves of energy. We know this. Listen to this awesome On Being podcast where Krista Tippett interviews Columbia University Physics Professor Brian Greene about our current understanding of quantum physics.
Here are a bunch of NPR discussions about science and spirituality.
And waves have frequencies, at least in this three-dimensional world. Waves vibrate and interact with other waves. Waves of energy make quarks and protons and atoms and cells and beer guts and me (and corporations and governments and social movements, etc).
Spiritual people say that there are different levels of vibration, and that “higher” levels of vibration correspond to more love (I think). They say that when a person starts down this spiritual path, it is normal that they will begin experiencing synchronicities because their vibration has changed.
It may be that the vibrational state of Kirk has changed recently. Has elevated. Closer to love. And as a result, the whole world becomes more synchronous. Ultimately, everything is an unfolding of God/cosmos/Divine Everything experiencing itself. Higher levels of vibration allow us to see the interconnectedness of everything more easily.
And they say that as we live with more love and compassion, more from the heart than from the head, that we will experience more of these synchronicities because we change the frequency vibration of our being to a “higher” state, and because we’re at a higher state we align more closely with the ultimate love of the universe/God/whatever, and can begin to see the connectedness of all things.
October 4, 2017 Kirk

Cars are teaching me patience. In the past couple months I’ve planned to do a number of things via automobile. Road trips. Errands. And virtually everything I’ve planned has been forced to change: got T-boned, insurance companies, DMV processes, engine repair in small town WY, and now a UPS overnight (not!) delay of the title to my car. I think I’ll still make my weekend Yurt Fest with college buddies in Colorado. But maybe not. I’m learning to go with the flow of life.

Cars are teaching me to chill out and go with the flow.


Don’t think.

Just be.


Stressing doesn’t help.

October 3, 2017 Kirk No comments exist

I think I’m slowly experiencing what I can only describe as a spiritual awakening. For me, the experience is marked by (1) seeing through the cultural matrix around us, and (2) a growing compassion for all living beings.


If I try to trace its origins, I might begin around 2012 or 2013 when I meditated for the first time. For a few years I meditated infrequently — maybe a couple times a week or maybe never for a few months. I never sat for more than 20 minutes.


That’s all it took to get introduced to my mind.


When I spent six weeks hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2014, I became aware of my monkey mind. Being alone and walking day after day introduced me to the scattered, repetitive, and largely unhelpful river of thoughts flowing through my mind.


In an effort to better understand my self and my mind, I attended a 10-day vipassana silent meditation retreat while traveling in Argentina. There I experienced my own chi, or life energy, for the first time.


Just a couple weeks later I attended a week-long ayahuasca retreat in the Amazon jungle outside of Iquitos, Peru. It was my first psychedelic experience and opened further the doors of perception.